Thursday, May 12, 2011

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Special Advertising Section: An NBC TV Movie Event

Finding the most reclusive, most wanted terrorist in the world was the easy part. Planning and training a masterfully timed pinpoint accurate secret mission to attack and kill him was also pretty easy. But giving the go-ahead to go through with it once everything was ready and waiting on the table? That? That was hard.

This is the story about one man. One man who refused to say no after a while, and then had the guts to finally stand up and say "yes".

As in, "Yes. You go ahead and do what you're trained to do. You guys are a bunch of soulless automatons of the US military-industrial complex anyway. Me? I'm the one that nods the head. I blink once for yes, {blink} and twice for no, {blink} {blink}. I'm like a cobra. A cobra that does it all and doesn't need any credit for it, even though I somehow end up taking virtually all of the credit when things go well, and/or getting far, far away from blame when they don't. And if you were paying attention, you could even argue that I fought against every policy that enabled this to happen.

Look. Let me be clear. As I said before, I can't help it if people want to look at this and acknowledge how amazing I am, {blink} {blink} {blink}.

Yeah, three blinks is maybe. As in, 'maybe' I am pretty incredible after all."

Bang bang, hiding terrorist. He got you. He got you because he loves America and is a great, great person who is better than anyone else and did this all by himself because no one helped especially Republicans.

Get yourself ready for a very important NBC television movie special:



Ripped from the headlines, and is not just some pre-planned laudatory biographical celebration that's been waiting in a can somewhere for something big to happen so we have a prime time excuse to show you over and over again why this guy makes us weak in the knees.

The Man Who Got Bin Laden. Every night at 8 and every day at 11 and 3. Don't miss it.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Finally Something That Isn't Bush's Fault

Isn't it refreshing. After 26 months in office, finally something has happened that is not the fault of George W. Bush, the presidential predecessor who nearly wrecked the entire world and couldn't get Bin Laden.

The assassination of Osama Bin Laden is so precisely of Barack Obama's doing that to argue otherwise would be positively insane. You know, sort of like asking to see Obama's birth certificate. Har har har. Stupid tea partiers. This is how a real president conducts a war. The Republicans, were they not so closed-minded, could start learning some valuable lessons here.

Now, thankfully, we can get back to the tanking economy, streaking unemployment, and untenable food and gas prices which all still have absolutely nothing to do with Obama or the Democrats. Yes We Did!!!
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