Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Mega Independent Answers Your Letters

Hello, I am a little bit worried about all the spending that the Democrat-controlled Congress is doing. This is trillions and trillions of dollars that we simply don't have! Isn't spending nonexistent money what got us all into trouble in the Real Estate and Financial sectors?

-Bill B.
TMI: You're confused, Bill. There's nothing wrong with what Congress is doing. If Congress was so bad, the People would not have elected them to make the tough decisions that they're not capable of making all by themselves. In addition, the veiled racism in your letter (printed in its entirety for all to see) has not gone unnoticed.

Hi there. I keep seeing all this repeated scare-mongering about Global Warming, but isn't it true that there were a bunch of exposed emails which revealed that the data was made up in some of the highest agencies that promoted it? Also, when asked to prove that the data was not artificially concocted, didn't these agencies say that they "lost" the data? And didn't one of the biggest Global Warming proponents recently come out and admit that there "has been no warming for the past 15 years", which goes against everything that was predicted about the climate by Al Gore, et al?

How can I trust in a phenomenon that has never been proven, yet wants to change my life? The light bulbs that have provided beautiful luminance for the last century are going to be totally banned as of 2012, and now I hear the Democrats in the House recently proposed a tax on all energy, which will essentially be a tax on everything. These taxes will be paid by us, the consumer, and they're being levied in the worst financial crunch in modern times. All to combat something which has been at best, never proven, and at worst, demonstrably falsified. Why haven't you reported any of this?

-Jeanie L.
TMI: You're confused, Jeanie. Global Warming is as plain as the nose on your face. If we don't do something right now, everybody is going to die. Also, shut up.

Greetings. Last week, you claimed that up was down, that water wasn't wet and that grass was purple. Well, I have it on good authority that up is actually up, water is very wet, and that grass is green. Not purple.

-Tom J.
TMI: You're confused, Tom. Everything is as we say it is on any given day. When you get a printing press of your own, let us know. Until then, let the big boys report the news.
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