Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Ten Reasons Last Night's Walker Win in Wisconsin is a Major Victory For Obama

It's true that a Republican won last night in Wisconsin, but as you will see that is going to be very short-lived. Tuesday June 5th was actually a huge win for progressives all across the nation, spelling surefire supremacy for them and Obama in November, and we're about to show you why.
1. Most voters in Wisconsin exit polling said they would vote for Obama in November. "Most voters" is all Obama needs and he will therefore obviously win.

2. This was a referendum on the incumbent, and the incumbent won and won big. November is going to be a referendum on the incumbent. We expect to see similar pro-incumbent sentiment sweeping across the nation and propelling Obama to a huge Walker-like victory, even bigger than his 2008 margin over John McCain.

3. Walker has one fewer letter than Barrett. Obama has one fewer letter than Romney. Short Name Fever is sweeping across the nation and will certainly propel Obama to a massive mandate/victory in November. He should actually start with the Executive Ordering right now because this is already a mandate.

4. Scott Walker is a reformer. Obama is a reformer. Reformer Fever is clearly sweeping the nation and is going to give Obama a huge boost at the polls, carrying him to a trouncing of poor Mitt Romney. Romney should probably just give up now, make the phone call and concede defeat.

5. Polling shows that there are more Independents now than ever. This is a moderate nation. If an (R) won this one, that means that in the next one, it's the (D)'s turn. (R), (D), (R), (D), (R), (D). That's what makes America special. And moderate. Perhaps it's time to cancel the election.

6. This was a Recall Election and the voters rejected the idea of a recall, with most saying that recalls should not happen for just any reason, but rather only if the elected official has egregiously offended the law. Well, November is something of a "recall" for Obama, only happening because it's been four years. That is not a legitimate reason to have a recall, and voters said so. Obama will win and win big. Sure, voters in Wisconsin checked the box for Walker, but what they were really saying was "Let's make Obama president for life."

7. Yesterday, Walker collected more votes than his opponent and he won. In 2008, Obama collected more votes than his opponent and he also won. This shows how strong both men are, and how much the two of them have in common, electorally speaking. More Votes Than Your Opponent Fever is clearly sweeping the nation and should give Obama an easy win in November. Time to fire the Supreme Court and implement ObamaCare by executive fiat? Wisconsin says yes.

8. Scott Walker likes potato chips. Obama likes potato chips.

9. Yesterday's election was on a Tuesday. November's election will be on a Tuesday. Tuesday Election Fever is sweeping the nation and will propel Obama to an stunning conquest over Mitt Romney. Don't cry Mitt Romney, it will be okay when you lose.

10. Obama did not campaign for Barrett in Wisconsin, sending out only a token tweet. Voters therefore, by a margin of seven points, demonstrated their unblemished, feverish support for Obama by not voting for Barrett. This is perhaps the biggest electoral mandate Obama has yet received. Yes We Can.


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