Thursday, August 12, 2010

Mega Roundtable - The Economy

With the summer ticking along very nicely, the economy has proven to be the number one issue on everyone's mind. We have gathered a roundtable of diverse wide-ranging opinions to discuss this and other pertinent issues.

Issue #1 - Obama and the Democrats

Moderator: George Bush left this country with the most troubled economy in the history of the world. It was up to Obama and the Democrats to rescue us all from the deepest economic depression in this or any universe that has come before, or will exist henceforth. What is your opinion on what they have done with all these Republican lemons. Have they made lemonade, or are the lemons still "percolating" in the lemonade maker and will it take some more time?

Commentator #1: I don't think it's fair to say that George Bush left us with the deepest economic depression in this or any universe that has come before, or will exist henceforth. George Bush and his rich fatcat Republican cronies left us with the deepest economic depression in this or any universe that has come before, or will exist henceforth. And galaxies, too, if galaxies are bigger than universes.

That would be a more accurate statement. And as far as lemons go, I think it would be fair to say that the Democrats aren't just making lemonade, they have invented a lemon drink that is so darned tasty and refreshing, it will knock your little socks off! It just takes a little longer to make than regular lemonade, that's all.

Commentator #2: Well I'm sorry, if we're going to talk about Bush, then what about all the problems he inherited, and that he had to face. What about the dot com bubble burst, and what about 9/11?

Commentator #1: Well, every President knows he's going to have a few problems to deal with here and there, and George Bush.......

Commentator #2: Hold on. I was just kidding. Everyone knows George Bush didn't have to deal with any real problems! Bush doesn't deal with problems. He makes the problems!

Commentator #1: On that, we can agree!!!!

Commentator #2: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Commentator #1: Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Commentator #2: You know, you're funny, Commentator #1.

Commentator #1: Awww... and so are you, Commentator #2. And very likeable. If I may say, in an Obama-ish kind of way.

Commentator #2: You flatter me! I am not worthy, nor will I ever be worthy, of praise that dares mention Obama's name.

Please... never use the same breath to contain us both again. I am but a mere speck, a morsel of subhuman matter, an infinitessimal waste of carbon atoms, water and directionless synaptical pulses, compared to Mr. Obama. Excuse me, Mr. President Obama.

Commentator #1: I know. I was just saying I thought you were really something special. You definitely know your economy and you certainly know the Republican Party and all their job and economy-destroying ways, backwards. And you're articulate about it. I'm sorry, but I have to say it's very attractive on you.

Commentator #2: Thank you. You're not looking too bad there yourself, Commentator #1. Do you have a little time after the article is done?

Commentator #1: Yeah. I have time.

Commentator #2: I gotta say... that you maybe even have a little...uhhhhh... a little hint of Obama in you.

Commentator #1: Stop it. You're gonna make me go red in the ears, Commentator #2. I'd be fortunate if I even had an sliver of his common sense or an iota of his leadership, fairness, eloquence, economic acumen and/or justice in me. Or if I could just have a small lock of his hair that he accidentally left on the podium after a speech, that I could put inside a book with his name on it, drawn inside little red crayon hearts. That would make my day... my year......... my life.

Commentator #2: I know exactly what you're saying.

Commentator #1 and #2: {siighhhh........}

Moderator: Well, that's all the time we have here on Mega Roundtable. It is always good to be reminded that no matter how widely we differ on political issues, even at 180 degree opposite ends of the possible political spectrum like our two representative commentators, there is always a middle ground somewhere.

And that is a middle ground which we at the Mega Independent strive to seed and water daily, as part of our very life's work. Tune in next time and watch this garden grow!
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