Hello. I'm at hole #1. Look over there at hole #2. Now back at me. I'm at hole #5 and I've just shot a birdie. Don't you want to be here? Now look at your bank account. It's empty. Now look at the Gulf of Mexico. I've fixed it with my magic powers. Now back to me. I'm at Martha's Vineyard and I'm on vacation. Look up. It's Air Force One. Now you're unemployed. Now I'm in Nevada, campaigning for someone. Don't you wish you were me? Look down. At your calendar. Now it's the third of the month and you're in a long line waiting for food stamps. Now back to me. I'm at the White House having dinner with someone you would like to be. Look in my hand. Now you're living in your car. Where did I go. I'm in Denmark and the Olympics are coming to Chicago. Look over there. Now they're gone. I meant to do that. Now look at that mosque, it's going to be pretty. Now back at me. Look at these abs. I'm the picture of health. ObamaCare has started. You haven't bought insurance and now you're in jail. And now it's me again. I've got all your taxes. I'm on a cruise.
