Monday, December 14, 2009

Cap and Trade Explained

Global Warming will kill you. Then Global Warming will kill your children. Then Global Warming will kill your children's children and all of their friends. Then you will die. Unless we do something about it now. And even if the world isn't warming at all and it's all fake and none of this is true, isn't it better that we do something instead of nothing?

As you may or may not know, "Cap and Trade" is the anti-global-warming energy bill currently up for consideration in the Senate. Now "Cap and Trade" is actually a very misleading name which doesn't help explain what it really is. A more appropriate name would be "Cap and Yayyyy!!!!". No, the "cap" part doesn't refer to "capitalism", but rather a limit on what evil profiteers can do with the energy they expend in the name of so-called business.

This program forces greedy billionaire CEO's to either stop doing what they're doing, or pay more money to the government. Either way, it's an obvious win for the betterment of society as a whole. This is the Michael Jordan slam dunk of bills that will make America awesome.

Remember, the only people that don't believe in Global Climate Change are paid corporate shills for Big Oil and Big Energy. And these anti-children Republican scare-monger obstructionists in the Senate keep threatening to put this bill to sleep, so that's why it's very important that you call your Senator and let him or her know that you are pro-children and not anti-future. Tell them to pass Cap and Yay today. If it's a Republican, ask why they are hurting the children and see what they say to that.

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